Oh rawrs this is quite a landslide of awful events.

I am at a bit of a loss about where to start.  Goodness knows how it feels to you to be in the thick of all of this.

I am a believer in expressing as much as you can but it does sound a little like you might be a lot shocked by this raining down on you - could this be true?

So are there any things that you think are important that you prioritise?  Do you feel that you need to focus on feeling better before you get a job or you need to get a job in order to be able to feel better?  

Is there a river of feelings around these losses and worrries that you could write or make bricks of?  We don't need the details to help support you but perhaps it would help you?

You have made a brick which describes the way that you see yourself as being nothing without your girlfriend - I hope that if you are feeling very low that you will consider seeking some professional help so that you can have someone in your corner as you deal with this stuff.  It must be quite overwhelming.  Just keep writing to us hey rawrs - it wil help.

sending you love and best wishes.  UM xx

I live in the U.S

Yes my friends its a hard thing to deal with, i really have no idea were to begin to fix what has happen. It all came so fast that i never expected it coming. It actually surprised me, i really had no expression when it happened. All i can do now is just try hard to find some strength and learn to move on. It will be hard, and thank you for all your amazing support i really appreciate it 

Hello

One single step at a time, one single day at a time.

Accept you are afraid, scared witless, and the fear will reduce in size

Feel it, and accept it

Sit down, once you have accepted it, and, if you have post it notes, or pages from a small notepad, write one thing on a single piece of paper. Then another on another piece of paper. And in the end you will have many.

Add one or two items that are so small, you know you can do them.

"Brush teeth" or "polish shoes" or "make a cup of coffee"

Put them in a pile, in "time to do order"

Quick things at the top of the pile, bigger things at the bottom of the pile

If there are too many things to do, reduce the pile to say six items, in the same order

Put the very small thing at the first item - "Brush Teeth" or "Make Coffee"

If your embarrassed that someone will see such a small task, use a code - "BT" or "MC"

Do the first task - "Brush teeth"

You will want to run, you will want to run as fast as you can - your mind will race, you will not be able to brush your teeth or make that coffee without wanting to stop and run and your mind will flip this way and that. Force yourself to complete the task.

Finish the task. The reward is, you put the piece of paper in the bin. Move to the next task.

I do;

Coffee / small task
phone calls
e-mails
admin - eg CV writing
Appointments visits
Big stuff
In this kind of order through the day

Look at the bin, at the end of the day - look how much you have done.

As for the girlfriend - You are a man of feeling and integrity or it would not upset you so. Honour and love yourself. Think of good things you have done for people. Think of good things that have happened to you. That people have taken the time to do things for you, and to think of you. You are a man who has a place in this world. You find it by luck sometimes, but the luck is created by your history of good decisions, of being a good person. You are not in jail. You are not about to die. You are wounded, a good man who is hurting and will survive and be loved for who you are once more.