Hello sqbd,

I was asking similar questions to this not so long ago - so I had a TA, "What do you want/need in a Psychiatrist". Please follow the link:

http://www.bigwhitewall.com/talkabouts/thread/938/

I also talked about it on one of my bricks, "What's the Future?"

Oh, ho-hum my usual font size! No matter if you can follow the link - you are welcome to check that out too. Sorry if pasting it like this doesn't work very well - you might find it among my bricks (The one with the the text "Crystal Ball Gazing" in green).

I think back now how I first went to seek psychological help, how unprepared I was, how I didn't have a clue what to ask, what to look for - nothing. All the best wigh what you decide. Oh, & welcome, sqbd; I hope you like it here.

-Mebenji

Hey spbd,

This is a great TA - I wish I had a list when I started off

I wonder if there are differences between countries that need to be taken account of.

a) Has as PHd other recognised degree. Ignore the other qualifications

Not even on the radar for me - I assess on the basis of capacity - not on qualifications - I have tried a couple of Psychiatrists and a PhD Pyschologist and neither seemed to have the capacity as mine who has a masters.  The quals mean little to me - except for the cost to the public for their attainment

b) does NOT take notes in front of you - whats going to happen in 6 months - he'll rifle through 100 pages to every question?

Actually - mine takes a few notes and she uses these to brief my gp when needed and do the other odds and sods for the medical system.  She also prepares before every session by reading her notes and the volumes of stuff that I might write in the interim - including the odd brick that I copy and send when I am out of words.

c) Works from home preferably, and lets you in too

I felt a bit of a eurghhh reactions to this as I don't feel comfortable attending a professional in their home - not a dentist or gp - I go to a practice of professionals - I know most of them by sight and when my shrink goes on leave or is ill for some time it means that there is someone else there that I can talk to - deal with when needed - this is really important to me and I have needed to access this a couple of times.

d) Is a family man or woman

This isn't important to me

e) Sets limits that are consistent with you

Yes - or is prepared to abide by limits that I set too.

f) Remembers and doesn't simply repeat what you already know - he links things together for you that you cannot see

Oh yes - I can't bear people using the clunky "active listening " repeating lines - no artistry in that as a technique - drives me mad in negotiations too - sign of an absolute novice who hasn't developed much else than one tool in the tool box.  

g) Runs a business, gets paid on time every time by you, but this does not intrude into the relationship

I think this might be a difference - we have highly experienced and qualified specialists who remain and are retained by the public system and often these people work in the sector our of a special committment - I see someone in a private practice because I am well paid and I don't believe that I should take a place in the public queue that would help someone else.

But this isn't a reflection on those good people who keep going in the public system .  A friend of mine has 4 kids under 12 - and her hospital based shrink is paid to visit her in her home and work with her and her children.  They suffered a huge tragedy this year - kind of hard to knock this part of the public system.

h) That you like.

Absolutely - if there is no "click" factor then there is no point.

i) That has earned your trust.

Oh yes - but this is something that will develop - not something that can be assessed at first or even second blush.

j) And you have respected him / her 

 ditto

any more thoughts, or particularly wonderful people you would like to mention?

I think it is really important for the person - however they are titled to be able to understand the life I lead - not just empathise with what I am dealing with - and to have an appreciation for my values and not be an airhead on the world as it is for the world and its diverse population.  They can't be so much at the centre of their own world that they don't see the reality of how it is for many that don't lead their life.

This is a good list - maybe we could get some more ideas or contrasting thoughts from others - I am reflecting on the TA that benj started and on the other TA's that relate so it is great to gather it all together.

Cheers

UM xxxx

Tell me that you have found someone who plays Leonard Cohen in the waiting room ....  All I get is musty classics which I think must have come from the 101 greatest boring classics - it is the classical version of muzak - and it really annoys the hell out of me.  But now that I am such a feature in the waiting room I have worked out it is easier to just ask if I might turn in down - below my capacity to hear - and everyone seems to feel quite good about that. 

Hope all is okay with you Summer - and thanks for the current smile 

love

UM xxxxxx

Waiting room?

 This reminded me of another criteria - I  don't do waiting rooms. I want to so straight in, definitely never see any other clients leaving/ arriving. Anything that would make me think of conveyor belt system I couldn't bear. 

I haven't had the pleasure or pain of music being played in the waiting rooms where I've been. I don't like the waiting either - as much as I don't like being late (though I have so fare been late to appointments with Dr Kat.) I'd rather be early, though, to give myself time time to relax, might even eat something then, catch my breath, stop sweating (if it is really hot), comb/brush my hair...to be ready. Most times I think I would rather no-one else be there, just because it is therefore more quiet, no-one else moving about, noisily turning magazine pages or using their mobile phones. I very much did not like being the last person waiting in the waiting room for DrAC - he was ALWAYS so late!! :) So now, here I've been being late!! hahahah! Well, I hope I fix that up in October when I've made appointments for later times in the the day.

-Mebenji                                    

take care not to overthink Summer.  What you wrote on 18/9 was probably true of how you felt then - doesn't mean that it was wrong - how we feel about things can often change after we let feelings sit for a while.

As for rewiring your brain - NO! - what if we ended up with a very different Summer - you are as you are and it is a great thing that you are.  Be nice to yourself eh?  there is so much that is good in you and what you bring here - just try to celebrate that - the other stuff -well in good time it will happen. Let it be brother

love  UMxxxx

Dear Summer,

Thank goodness for your sense of humour - but I wasn't talking about electro therapy and now I have Ken Kesey's book cover showing Jack Nicholson embedded in my brain.

I wonder if on this journey with you we might all discover a little of what happens after attending difficult sessions with a shrink.  See I am no where near as brave as you and I retreat and hide in my cave while I work through it - but you are able to talk it through with us - it has taken me years to get to know the variety of responses I have to working through "stuff".  Maybe in return for your honesty and openess you will work out this in a much shorter time frame.  

And now I wonder if you are uncomfortable with me suggesting that we are on this journey with you - maybe you should tell me to pull my head in if you do.  

You take care too Summer  xx UM