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Subject:

Where do you go when your children have gone?

  • 12/11/2007 @ 20:22 ablely said:
    ablely
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    My children are 16 and 18 and although it is a little while before they leave the home, I am beginning to think about what life will be like without them.  I haven't worked for years now, not since before they were born, and I am beginning to think that I have wasted my life really just looking after my children and after my husband and the house.  We have a nice life, but what happens now?  I don't play golf, I am not interested in coffee mornings.  I feel a bit sort of empty really.
  • 13/11/2007 @ 11:06 purebench said:
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    im the daughter of a mum in the same position but the two daughters are 2 years older.. (18 and 20)

     i know its hard leaving my mum, but i love hearing from her and iv made a fresh start so id love it if she could too

    try new things! feel young again! and become friends with your children, x

  • 14/11/2007 @ 21:29 Muse said:
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    ablely, you need to rediscover yourself - and yes, you are still there!  what would you really like to do?  whatever it is? if at all possible, go and do it!  Grasp life with both hands and make of it what you can in the time you have left
  • 15/11/2007 @ 13:17 roze said:
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    I found it very sad that my mother made her four children her whole life. When we all left home she was OK but she was not really fulfilled apart from in her garden. I tried to encourage her to go out more and make new friends but she felt she had left it too late! I felt quite responsible for her which was not a good feeling. Make a life for yourself now before your children leave. It will make your relationships with them stronger too!
  • 16/11/2007 @ 18:57 ablely said:
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    OK.  So what do I do?  Should I get a job?  I am not very qualified.  Perhaps I should do evening classes, but I just don't feel that old.  How did I end up in such a situation
  • 18/11/2007 @ 10:01 Wolfie said:
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    Sounds to me like you need a plan.  What are your main interests?  what would you like to do given half a chance?  If you start taking small steps towards your goal you will feel much better, I am sure.
  • 19/11/2007 @ 16:23 roze said:
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    How about doing some volunteer work in a local school to start with? They are always looking for help with reading or general work in the classroom. Great way to meet quite a lot of people - parents and teachers???
  • 20/11/2007 @ 14:25 bill said:
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    My son left home a few years ago although he lives quite close by. I think he likes that my wife worked as well as me from when he was about 14. He said they had more to talk about. And it made my wife happier too. I think it is worth doing something.
  • 21/11/2007 @ 12:25 roze said:
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    So ablely how are you feeling about this after hearing all our views? Hope we have not swamped you with advice!
  • 21/11/2007 @ 18:28 ablely said:
    ablely
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    Goodness no - not swamped at all.  Haven't had so many people caring about my wellbeing for a long time.

    You are all right and I can and will start to live my life a little for myself.  I feel I have been under the cloud of 'homemaker' for too long.  there is nothing wrong with it - but I do feel a little empty and unfulfilled.

    I think I will do as you suggest - perhaps a couple of mornings at the local school - just to get used to having a routine and commitments again.

    I am very excited indeed and raring to go.  Thank you all so much. 

  • 04/02/2008 @ 11:48 zorro said:
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    Hey Abley _ just picked this up from one of Daleks posts.... so how is it going?? Did you set anything up??
  • 14/02/2008 @ 06:23 johnf said:
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    In years gone by, of course, it wan't a problem: by the time the seven or eight of your kids who had survived reaced adulthood, you would have been ready to sit on your rocker and do nothing.

    Different now: When our youngest was off on her own,l we left town. I mess about in boats, my dear wife plays bridge at representative level. We travel a lot. Two of the kids are still living in the family home, we aren't. You haven't said how old you are - that makes a difference. You could go to university. You could start a business. The world is your oyster. Get out there and enjoy it.

  • 27/10/2008 @ 21:15 ablely said:
    ablely
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    I can't believe that all this was nearly a year ago and so much has happened and yet so much remains the same.  I only have one living at home now, plus my husband (who doesn't count).
  • 25/11/2008 @ 16:34 Brown Bear said:
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    You've been away a long time.  Welcome back.  What HAS happened in that year?

     

    BB 

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