dont forget christmas is a celebration

and what it is celebrating

the commercialism is annoying and, shallow, the services take forever and restrict your time with family, but christmas in its essence is celebrating a huge, amazing, miracle.

:)

I really don't want to sound like an old git, but I'm (just) old enough to remember when Christmas was special in so many ways, we had a quantity of gifts that we never had at any other time, we had food that we spent 364 days only dreaming of and people wished you a happy Christmas and meant it.  Now however, those of us fortunate enough to live in the affluent parts of the world, can have what we want when we want, credit cards mean nobody saves for anything and food is plentiful and relatively inexpensive. OK I accept that we do still have the poor and needy but compared to this country 50 years ago and indeed, to many other parts of the world now - we are very lucky. So, that should make us happy but it doesn't, quite the opposite, the more we have the more we want and the more pressure there is to 'celebrate' Christmas, which is ironic in an increasingly secular country although festivals at that time of year (winter solstice, birth of Mithras etc) pre-date christianity by hundreds of years anyway. The result is that more and more of us, and I include myself, just do not look forward to it at all. Even this year, when I'm looking forward to the birth of my 2nd grandchild, Christmas is just getting in the way. It would be nice to think that we could return to a proper Christmas but I feel commercialism has put paid to that. If I did not have an elderly mother who spends Christmas with us, I'd take the familly off to somewhere warm until it was all over.  I've just re-read that before hitting the post button and it is a terrible reflection on todays world - wish I didn't feel that way.

I hate Christmas. I don't want to be with people because i feel i should have to but i don't want to be alone either. I agree with s1dg5y - it is so very commercial - it starts in october and makes  people turn crazy - and for what - one day of over-indulgence and unwanted gifts? i have no idea what to do this year - i don't have children - and i don't want to ask friends as it may seem like i am needy.Going somewhere warm is a lovely idea but it tends to be so expensive.

Or maybe we have raised selfish brats by indulging them?

Oh ablely!  Poor you!  How about asking your family what they want to do for Christmas now that your children are a bit older; and maybe it doesn't need to focus on food and television, perhaps a walk or something different?  Set aside time for the family and time for their friends?

i agree, my family and i decided a few years ago to limit christmas to £10 per person and no more. i have found spending a tenner on everyone far more challenging than just spending indescriminatly, you have to think muhc more carefully about what ou are going to buy so makes it much moer thoughtful. PLus, since my niece was born (shes 2) Christmas has refound its magic for me... I think small kids make christmas, and as for commercialisation - you can choose not to buy into it!

I'm dreading Christmas because my family are 8,100 miles away. :(

I married a Canadian and moved here from Australia. I have a huge family back home and Christmas in non-stop. I love it. Hubby's family is very small, and don't really do anything. While I love my husband and enjoy spending time (and christmas) with him, this is the one time so far that I get truly homesick thinking about. The issue definitely is that I miss my family, because family is what christmas is all about for me. Still, we do have the internet and telephone, maybe I can set up a webcam thing with them. :)

I really wish I could, but I'm applying for a spousal visa at the moment and I can't leave the country until a decision is made either way. Will take up to 18 months.

But, my parents are coming to visit me next year. :D

Absolutely. Make the best of it, right? I'll do what I can. :)

Great idea Roze - your place or mine?

I posted this on one of my bricks, but thought I should post it here too.

I'm dreading Christmas too.

I used to be one of "those" women. Christmas trees in every room of the house. Gift baskets for postman, workers at my favorite shops, people who do my yardwork. Homemade cookies and candies for my co-workers. Handmade gifts for family and friends.

And the parties... It started with a birthday bash for my partner (Nov 28th) and then tree decorating, our anniversary, Solstice, Christmas, New Years Eve (which was also my mentor's birthday!) and finally, a Three Kings Day party for taking down the tree.

And now just thinking about it makes me exhausted. There have been so many losses (Mentor, my relationship, etc.) that I don't want to cope with it.

But my friends and loves aren't accepting this and a bunch of them took me out to buy a tree (fake!) and decorations and we put it up last night. It didn't get decorated all the way though. Lights are on it and garland and about half the ornaments. That was as far as I was able to get before I couldn't handle it anymore. 

I blamed wanting to stop decorating on the eggnog.  We're going to finish tonight. Ugh.

Thank you for the suggestion Muse.

This will be the third Christmas since my losses and my friends were very understanding about the first two. I have tried to explain how I feel to them, but they believe I need to do something for Christmas this year to help me heal.

It's not going to be much, just one tree and a cookie exchange. Oh.. And I'm hand decorating some bags to put purchased liqueurs in to give as gifts.

I understand they are doing this out of love and I do appreciate the sentiment behind it.

I don't feel disloyal Roze, it's just that my mentor loved Christmas and was such a huge part of Christmas for me.

The picture of the elf and Santa fishing on my brick is a sculpture they made for their yard.

We couldn't be together Christmas, so for 15 years I would make boxes for them with a small tabletop Christmas tree that I decorated, a scarf that I knitted, cookies, candies, a Christmas CD, and little gifts that I picked up during the year I thought they would enjoy.  It's difficult to not have this tradition any more.

I know my mentor would want me to continue celebrating Christmas because they enjoyed it so much. I think this is why my friends want to make sure I start celebrating again, so I don't get in the habit of not celebrating. 

I just don't know if I'm ready.

I've just noticed how long ago I started this talkabout, and I think that while I'm dreading it still, it hasn't increased in proportion to the time slipping away, some of what you have written here has helped with that. How's everyone else doing? It's now so near, it's nearly past!

And do you have to Si-sp....what puts you in that space where it sounds you would choose not to be? Find a space and silently shout...........or scream..........Big White Wall community is here ...and we are going to listen for as long as you may choose to talk. A silent and so strong hug!

Hmm. It's not that i don't want to be here, it's more that I wish that my family could be here, too. I love Canada and I love my husband and his family.. I just think that Christmas would be complete if mine could be with us.

Thank you so much. :) I will be thinking of you all, too.

As Christmas approaches, I have to be honest I am feeling just a hint of anticlimax.  I have eaten too much already, bought presents that I know people probably won't like because I was in a hurry and am generally more stressed than usual.

the panic is only starting to hit me now, I have nothing done, this is terrible.

Oh Red, that is truly horrible. I wouldn't be able to go either.

My married love is in my group of friends, but the important ones know about us and steer the others away from "couple nights" involving me, my married love and his spouse. If his spouse is going to be there I will not be. I don't care how odd it may look to those who do not know, I will walk out rather than be in the same room as the two of them.

If you ever need to talk about your feelings on this please PM me.

Red, playing happily married with someone else is what bothers me. They are the perfect couple in the perfect marriage according to some of our friends.

I can handle the knowledge of his marriage in the abstract, but not up close and personal.