I get so cross with my children when I am stressed.  And I do feel guilty.  But it is so easy to take things out on them.

Hmmm.  Stress - where to start.... we all have seem to have very busy lives and we all seem to be stressed - and i am one of the worst offenders.  But even the housewives I know are stressed - how?!  Has it got to the stage that if we are not uber busy we are not worthwhile people?

I'm not sure that shouting is either bullying or a stress releif - or maybe it can be so much more than either of those.

Some people are shouters and others are not - My kids really surprised me by telling me recently that their Dad shouted at them - and I was astounded and said "more than me?" and was told - "you're just loud". 

I think it has something to do with the tone too that is used - sometimes when I am doing the awful "big shop " at a supermarket I hear the mum's (haven't heard a dad do this) try to engage other adults by shouting really loudly at the screaming / crying / sobbing child that everyone can hear them and will think what horrible children they are.  I think the message is worse than the shouting but I think the shouting is really a bit of performance for everyone else too. Kind of an effort to be seen as having a go.

I have a couple of kids who can be sitting with me here at the table and working and they will be so into whatever they are doing that they won't hear me until I make quite an effort to disturb them.  Then they look quite surprised and "oh did you say something" .

I think it is a mixture of frustration, being time poor and rushing, probably having high expectations about what kids can achieve by themselves, and just too many distractions for kids in terms of media.  Quite possibly it is about all the other things that parents have on their plate and it just comes out.  I don't think shouting is always about anger either.  In terms of it being a stress relief I think for a signifant group of us it just makes us feel bad.

I managed to get by without shouting at my children very much. I think it is because I am not really very shouty by nature. I am not sure if shouting helps as tone of voice can convey so much more.