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03/12/2007 @ 08:16 x1y2z3 said:

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i have had such a roller coaster year. i am so over my ex now and i am sorting other things in my life but one thing that i dont know what to do about is my problem with debt.
for a little while i spent lots of money. it made me feel better and it wasn't jsut for me it was for the kids to. this was about 6 months ago and the bills are piling up now. i feel so ashamed. how did it happen? what can i do?
03/12/2007 @ 08:43 Kthulu said:

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I know how you feel I gave up a job to be with my soon to be ex and now have a lovely debt that I'm going to have to payoff. I was fortunate enough to get my old job back which will make things very easy, but I will still have to budget my income until I'm back to being even. The only suggestion I can give you is itemize your debts, consolidate them if possible and make the base payments on all but a couple while knocking out those debts. Free up your money to take them on one at atime and eventually they will vanish. I know how addictive it can be to buy things for yourself and how good it feels to get something you want, but it adds up pretty quick. Anyway the idea of budgeting out and taking care of one debt at a time, i.e. credit cards, is the best advice I can give you.
03/12/2007 @ 08:55 roze said:

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Very helpful response Kthulu - this is what it says in the article in Useful Stuff - that debt is the new addiction. I have been in pretty serious debt in my life and it can be quite scary. I am just not very good at controlling my spending - mainly on my daughter and friends and stuff - not really on myself (although i have a thing about nice clothes). However, it is really stressful when you owe a lot of money - it has kept me awake at night on many occasions.
03/12/2007 @ 09:08 luvmyguy said:

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how very stressful!!
Budgeting is essnetial. Figure out your expenses every month, how much you spend on ever.little.thing. Compare that with what you bring home every month and budget your money. It may take a month or two to figure out where your money is going and to set a baseline for your spending but once you do this, you will be able to more efficiently spend your money and hopefully get out of debt quicker.
Some suggestions for your catergories should be for groceries (always go with a shopping list on a full stomach), car/transportation, housing, utilities, school (for you or children), eating out (should be little to nothing if you are in serious debt!), medical bills if any, etc... Cut corners where you can - for instance, coffee on the go from starbucks or the like is a quick way to spend a lot of money every month. Not saying you do this but it's just an example. Also, try to reduce your phone or cable charges if possible by getting on a better plan or cancel them altogether. I recall a few years when we bought our first home and had a boatload of student loan debt when we lived with only our cell phones, no home phone, saving us about $50/month.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU! You can do this!!
03/12/2007 @ 20:46 x1y2z3 said:

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thanks everyone. i will try. but i don't earn much and getting someone to look after the kids is always difficult. i just feel it is so unfair. i see other people with nice stuff and i am left with my two kids and no partner. i will never get out of this so why not spend someone else's money. they cant put me in jail if i don't pay them back can they?>
05/12/2007 @ 06:52 Isabella said:

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Hi x1. I suspect we're on different continents, but I think you should think twice about your last statement. Go and watch the movie "Happiness" again and decide whether that is how you'd like to end up with your children... Not a good place to bring up a family, I think. Your turn will come and I think you're heading the wrong way with that attitude. Pay off your debt, one at a time because you're creating your own prison by doing what you're doing. You'll be free when you have done so and then you'll stop resenting others for their success.
05/12/2007 @ 14:59 x1y2z3 said:

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oh i haven't seen that movie. maybe i should. i am going to give it a go with the budgeting. i haven't got much to play with. but i have to try.
05/12/2007 @ 17:50 7vicar said:

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hey, I think isabella makes a good point there. I've found that if you let credit companies know that you are trying, they are very understanding, they agree manageable payment plans. It's in their interest to get their money back, rather than pushing you further into the red and completely unable to pay them
10/12/2007 @ 13:00 Anonymous said:

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The news reports about credit crunches next year, and house prices and recession have been bringing on my panic attacks. I normally let house rise/slumps stories wash over me, but this feels different this time around. I feel my heart start to pound and can't think about plans in case it all just goes t*ts up. I feel sick at the thoughts of living in a city with people slipping further into trouble, being out of work, and all the associated problems. I spent a lot of time in Ireland in the 80s and it was awful, even education became a privelege, not a right.
10/12/2007 @ 22:19 x1y2z3 said:

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oh, i tried to apply for one more card to give me some space whilst i sort my things out but they turned me down yesterday. this has never happened before. is this the credit crunch that people are talking about? i thought that was all about other people, not me.
11/12/2007 @ 08:09 Anonymous said:

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x, you're exactly who gets affected in the first wave of a credit crunch. The ones in serious trouble, those people crippled by debt? They get more and more thrown at them, and the ones who just pop in and out of the red and need some temporary assistance, don't. We don't make the banks enough money! In Uni, I was turned down for a 500£ loan which would've saved me so much grief and heartache. It spiralled into a 5000£ debt thanks to overdrafts, credit cards and the related high interest. If I'd gotten the loan in the first place it wouldn't have happened.
12/01/2008 @ 07:10 Wolfie said:

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Hi x1y2z3, how are you doing now? Are you finances more stable?
Love Wolfie
12/01/2008 @ 09:02 ChocolateCake said:

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Hi x, was thinking about you last week - there's so many of those debt recovery services advertised in the new year - I hope you didn't fall for any of the scam ones. There's lots of legitimate ones out there, try your citizen's advice bureau - I went yesterday with a friend of mine and they were so helpful, they settled her panic in a way none of her friends could and she has a host of numbers to ring on Monday to start tackling her debt problems.
12/01/2008 @ 16:20 Swon said:

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Hi X, can I just echo what CC has said, go to your local CAB, they are used to dealing with problems like yours and have people who can help.

Please, please, please don't think of going to one of the 'loan consilidation' outfits. It might sound very tempting to be able to clear all your debtors in one go - but all it means is you owe the same amount but to all to one company and their interest rates can be very high.

Remember with all loans, it is the APR (annual percentage rate) which you have to be aware of and the overall cost of the loan can be affected by lots of factors.

I dug out this link for you, check it out, it will explain things far better than I can.

http://www.moneymadeclear.fsa.gov.uk/products_explained/what_is_apr.html

All the best.
14/01/2008 @ 16:55 CameronD said:

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I also echo CC and s1dg5y. I'm starting my training next week as a CAB adviser, and also running a community money clinic to help people who are worrying like you. It's one of the free ones, take CC's advice re not going to scammers who get your money even before the banks. Never pay a fee for debt advice! We would be trying to help by talkng you through your situation, and then referring you to a real debt advice service like CCCS (also free - it's actually funded by the banks and credit industry). But we would walk through that with you. I think the face to face support you would get from someone is sooo important. Take s1dgy and CC's advice, go talk ... soon. It will be such a weight off your shoulders. And then tell'em you've done it!
If a wee book would help (both very easy to read), then try
- The Money Secret by Rob Parsons (bookdepository.co.uk £5.26) for helping you think about debt, especially explaining about your priority debts (the ones which can get you into big trouble) and the others (which they basically can't touch you for).
- The three most important lessons you've never been taught by Martin Lewis (play.com £3.49) for giving you lots of ideas about how to save and manage money.
Finally, try the forums at www.moneysavingexpert.com for more e-encouragement and ideas from others with money problems.
You will make it, one way or another. Just find that shoulder to cry on ... preferably with a brain attached to advise you well ... and a heart to care.
CameronD
15/01/2008 @ 06:46 Wolfie said:

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That's great advice CameronD. I think you are new around here, so welcome - what a valuable addition to our community you are.
15/01/2008 @ 15:01 Rooanne said:

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Hi, my first post here. I am getting further into debt also & already declared bankruptcy 3 1/2 years ago. There are only 2 credit cards (only!) but also some old bills for medical services that I hadn't known the insurance wouldn't pay ....... I've been planning to call to consolidate but I'm afraid the monthly amount they come up with may be too high for me to afford so I keep putting it off!! Also, whoever said the credit card companies will work with you -- I have not found that so. The collection people keep saying they need more, trying to get me to commit to something I can't pay, so I don't answer their calls now........
15/01/2008 @ 19:48 Wolfie said:

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Dear Rooanne, welcome to Big White Wall and I am sorry that your first post has to be such a difficult one.

I think you need to start sorting things out as soon as you can. You know in your heart that it is not going to get better until you take action and only you know what action needs to be taken.

I would suggest that you start by at least figuring out what you can afford to repay and then start repaying a little at a time. In addition though, you need to figure out why you got in to debt again. What is it about your life that you need to spend this money?

Try and sort out your heart and your head and your spending troubles may ease a bit.

Love Wolfie

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