It was our 'holiday' party today - for the office. And given that I am a senior member of staff/owner I thought that I would get away unscathed.

i am sitting here with my second large glass of wine in front of me with tears streaming down my face because I am so lonely. At the party this evening one of the young office girls asked me if I was sad because i haven't got a partner and kids - and then she kept going on and on about my life and all the lovely friends I must have and she was quite drunk. I had to smile and play along whilst I was bleeding inside.

I feel SO lonely and yet not alone.  My friends are nothing more than close aquaintances.  Does anyone know how I feel? 

I suspect we all have lonely times in our lives. I was desperately lonely after my 2nd wife left - went through depression, did all the 'kindred spirits' and things, and was still lonely for 7 years.  But then out of the blue I meet my soul-mate, who was 26 lonely miserable years into her 2nd marriage.  We have 6 grandchildren between us.

So for heavens sake don't give up Red and Katy, you just do not know what tomorrow will bring.  Perhaps we need to talk about where you might meet potential friends if nothing else and how you could summon up the courage to make it possible.

yes i do.but right answer to help you is learn to craetive use your time.than you will atrack lot of nice people to be with you and right partner.

you should keep optimism in yourself how hard that sound with many problems and if you do not feel to be around people when you are unhappy and they do not know to cheer you up than dont do it.

there is lot of joy in life you should just find it

i am sending you one big hug and saying you are not alone we are all conected.

love

natasha

first i will answer you than i will add to discusion something also important

why not try to fall in love?it can hurt and could bring great happiness.

why to choose to be alone?why not at least try to share?answer to yourself:)

yes by blaming our hard childhood we are coming to the point of growing up and taking responsibility for the rest of our lifes.

this process is painfull sometimes .

one thing more it is much easier to share what bothers us when noone will judge you.

this is also intention of this site because hurt can be healed when you get lot of love

and not by beeing judged by why you feel the way you feel.

Katy,

Christmas is always a hard time of year.  It is suppossed to be a time when you get together with your loved ones and celebrate.  I am not sure I feel alone as such because I have a nack of keeping myself busy.  I was talking to my Aunt about Katherine my ex and said that I am almost in a zone where I dont sit still, that to avoid thinking about it im constantly on the move.  I said I understand why she acts like this now and we both started crying.  Her husband (my uncle) passed away 2 years ago and she is always doing something, she is hard to catch and i understand why she does it now.

Still, we had a family dinner Sunday night and i was pretty silent, it is really only my aunty and myself who dont have apartner so it was a pretty sad night for me, it was the first family dinner without the ex and felt weird, im not really looking forward to christmas.

el m - so sorry to hear (on the other talkabout) about how things went with the new friend. Maybe a bit too much a bit too quickly?

And that time with your auntie sounds so important - however sad - painful processes of loss and  a place you could connect in that. I imagine it meant a great deal to her. 

Also i Just wanted to say there is a talkabout 'Online Christmas Party' where we are trying to fix a time when we can all talk on Christmas Day about how we are doing. You may want to check it out and sign up.