Okay,  I have a question.  I am in a relationship with a good woman.  She has her moods, and her bad days, but she has a huge issue with privacy.  She doesn't want me sharing anything her and I talk about with anyone else, because she sees it as me sharing her private expressions.  I so don't see that as betraying her trust and voiding her privacy,  I share pretty much everything with my friends, and when I have problems with my relationship I go to my friends to get advice, which means I share everything that has happened with them.

Last night we had a fight and she out right told me, that nothing we talk about, nothing about her can be shared to anyone else.  I have a major issue with this, cause she has effectively gagged me, and she wonders why I haven't introduced her to my friends. 

Does anyone have any advice?  I do care for her, and it is probably my own stupid fault for getting myself in this deep with her, but I can't leave, she does make me smile, she makes me happy, for the most part, the fights are just awful though.  I think if we can survive this one we will be okay, I just don't know how to survive it with "me" still intact.

afternoon savmut (if it's afternoon where you are, it is here, and not too grey...) What a pickle! I feel like there's two problems. Can you have a long term relationship with someone you haven't been keen to introduce to your friends? If they're so important to you (and it sounds like they are) it could be a long term problem.

Then, because of my personal experience I'd probably ask another question - is there anything in her past that makes her behave this way, did she have her privacy betrayed, or did she become the subject of gossip maybe? I had a (not entirely objective!) version of my past shared by my ex with his new partner, by way of explanation of some things that went on. The problem is she is part of my wider social circle and with no loyalty to me had no qualms passing it along as gossip. It's horrible and makes me very wary of sharing still. Could she have a betrayal in her past?

Hi Zorro,

Actually I have no idea if she talks about me to her friends.  I know that the last time we were having problems she mentioned it to her sister, but I don't think she talked about it.  She is intensely private, so I am almost 100% sure she hasn't talked about me to/with her friends.  She actually has called me on my reliance to my friends more than once.

7Vicar,

Actually it is morning where I am. :)  Almost 11 AM actually, but good afternoon to you. 

I...you know I never thought about that angle, and in retrospect she has had her trust betrayed by and ex, unfortunately it almost cost her her job,...d*mn.  She is right, to an extent to be this private, with her job she cannot afford to have gossip about her, I forgot that, because my job is completely different from hers, I have no "moral convictions/ethical behaviour laws" which could be used to fire me, she does.

Thank you.