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Subject:

ive been stupid, need to tell someone.

  • 09/02/2008 @ 20:52 dasif said:
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    well ive done the dirty with my best mates gf. i only met her for like 10 hours. next thing i know im in bed with her.

     

    i dont know how to break it to my mate but if he hears it i want it to be from me.

    any suggestions. 

  • 10/02/2008 @ 00:05 nemt said:
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    he'll likely be much happier not knowing

  • 10/02/2008 @ 01:09 roze said:
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    well i have had such a weird evening when one of my great mates in 20 years announces she wants my ass

    hmmm 

  • 10/02/2008 @ 03:10 WillAlwaysWonder said:
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    Unless you know she's going to say something, don't volunteer any info to you mate. Some secrets are best left unsaid.
  • 10/02/2008 @ 06:33 roze said:
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    silence is golden!!!
  • 10/02/2008 @ 09:13 dasif said:
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    Hmm, i dont feel right to keep quiet and 1 other person knows but i can trust him.

    thanks for the comments, il try keep quiet but as soon as he figures something is going on im going to say straight away. 

  • 10/02/2008 @ 11:46 Muse said:
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    I agree with Willalwayswonder - do you want to tell him because it will make him feel better? Or you feel better?

     

    Are you just trying to lessen your guilt?

     

    Fingers crossed, you could put it down to one of those things that you just wish you had never done.....  

  • 10/02/2008 @ 16:42 dasif said:
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    "you could put it down to one of those things that you just wish you had never done..."

    i agree. 

     

    well we all went into town today, it hurt like hell to see them all cudly and stuff. but it made me think why she would risk her relationship for just 1 night with me. 

  • 10/02/2008 @ 16:53 roze said:
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    That does not sound like guilt - it sounds like you are really attracted to this girl?
  • 10/02/2008 @ 16:57 dasif said:
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    i shouldnt beattracted to this girl, ive only known her for 2 days.
  • 10/02/2008 @ 17:01 roze said:
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    Shouldn't meaning ..........? I had sex with my ex within 6 hours of meeting him - and was with him for quite a few years after. Time is not essentially the critical issue
  • 10/02/2008 @ 21:00 scaredtogrowup said:
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    yes he might be happier not knowing but as someone whose been cheated on it hurts a lot more to find out later that not only did it happen but people you trusted and loved didn't tell you. Plus you're his mate and you made a mistake but what about this girl, all feelings aside is she doing this a lot? with other men? because if so wouldn't you want your mate to know and even if not it's a good possibility that she could. I don't know it's up to you and it does suck finding out, but I think personally it hurts more to know it's been hidden.
  • 10/02/2008 @ 21:38 el mariachi said:
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    Yeah mate dont say a word.  If my best mate said that to me id knock him out, sorry i know violence doesnt solve anything and id feel worse afterwards but thats pretty full on and he is likely to loose it.

    Thing is that this will haunt you for a long time now.  If you keep it in you will feel like part of that bond you guys have is fake but the other thing to weigh up is, if he is your best mate and she has done that, she could do it again with someone else and im not sure but if my mates partner was cheating on them, id work out a way he found out without me telling him.  eg turn up where they were one time with him or something ???  Man this is a hard one to solve.  My first instinct say dont tell him but im not sure you can go one without telling him.  Good luck with it.

     

  • 10/02/2008 @ 22:01 johnf said:
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    There are things you ought to think about: is this a one-off or do you feel attracted to this woman? If it's a one-off, it was irresponsible of you both but need not change your world. If you feel a genuine loving attraction, then you have to make a decision - Is your friendship worth denying yourself love for? Is your love worth forever downgrading your relationship with your friend? You haven't told us your age. If you are very young (from where I sit early twenties is very young) the chances are you will fall in love several times before settling down. From that standpoint best friends are more important (I am lucky: my wife is my best friend). Good luck
  • 10/02/2008 @ 22:03 roze said:
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    hello johnf - think you are new around here - welcome to Big White Wall - these are very wise words.
  • 13/02/2008 @ 12:34 a_non said:
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    Hmmm.  Upon reading your heading, I was thinking "Well, we have all been stupid a time or two"....but then I read further and I must confess I agree with you, that was pretty stupid.   It will forever change the dynamics of the relationship you have with your friend.  I just hope if your friend finds out, he is handles it wisely.  Best of Luck.

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