Hey Zorro, do you think your friend doesn't understand that you are friends because she is a good person?  It feels like she doesn't value what she brings to the friendship - I don't get the impression that you think she is showing off. I may have the wrong sense of this;}?

 The only suggestion I have is to have the conversation.  Have you heard of the assertive formula, "when you......, I feel....... and I would really like it if we all paid our own way. I just feel uncomfortable if I am not paying my own way - I've got a strong independent streak".    I guess it might work best if you could manage the conversation in advance of any bills coming.  sorry if it sounds like talking about how to suck eggs I don't mean it in this way - do it with a smile and maybe a hug and she might get a better handle on friendship generally. But then it depends whether she likes the direct approach from her mates.

Hi Red, Unionmaid and lonelyme and thanks for replying. Red and lonelyme yes I do think she is seeking attention/love, she comes from quite a wealthy family but her parents were a bit absent so I have a feeling this is a behaviour she has learnt. Unionmaid you are right, it isn't showing off - i have known her for a long time and she really isn't showy - i think this is just her way of feeling like a nice person or something. She can be a touch sensitive which is why I am nervous of offending her, but I worry that one day someone might take advantage of her. I shall try to have a gentle word, using that technique unionmaid - seems like a good idea.

Thanks all for your replies - will let you know how I get along :)