Hello Annamarie, welcome to Big White Wall, I've not seen you here before although I see you have posted a brick, thats kind of a different way of expressing yourself, although I am not sure this is what you mean. Do you want to talk a bit more about who it is you are talking to? I know what you mean about wanting to be needed but not dug in and suffocated - there has to be balance right? Chat more if you feel like it :)

 Z x

Hi Annamarie and welcome.

I think you need to expand a bit on what you mean by 'expressing yourself in ways which others don't understand' although I can imagine that if you are trying to do things which those in your present circle of friends cannot identify with, then it might drive them away.

Do you perhaps need to seek out new, more like-minded company?

Please tell us more, I for one am intrigued.

Take care

anamarie1708-

at one point in my life i went through a stage where although everyone told me i was skinny and pretty, but i couldnt see that and i hated how i looked. i kinda seperated from my friends for awhile and felt pretty lonely. but then one day i saw a pretty moving documentary on how we look at the world. and i finally came to my senses and realized that no one will accept who i am if i dont first accept myself. i realized that i am beautiful and unique and that we are all different in so many ways, and i began to accept my flaws as just another quirk in my personality. i dont know you, but if you ever want to talk or just need someone to listen, ill try my best. =]

HI again Anamarie -

Do you think that since you made the big move you have lost a bit of confidence in yourself? Your post seems to seperate the person you once were with the person you see yourself as right now. You asy every time you get into something you end up getting hurt, so perhaps you are not letting yourself be 'you' and that is frustrating and also not terribly good for the old self esteem. All the stuff about how you look, a spout of anorexia, sound like issues of a loss of control (and please correct me if I am wrong) - like life is just like running down one massive hill and all you can do is try not to fall. Do you have any anchors, anything in your new life in this new environment that excites or interests you? You sound like a lovely person who has people in your life who really care for you, maybe you need to find a strategy that will help you embrace the good stuff?

I'm interested in hearing more about your move??

Zxx 

Can  you tell us more about the things that are holding you back, those that are helping you find your true self and the person who is complex yet important to you? We are here and listening. love roze

 Hi Anamarie  Change of any kind brings its own stresses We all deal with it differently. Some relish change ,look forward to the new job ,relocation, the new relationship. These teflon coated people have an attitude based on self belief that  they'll cope no matter what -they'll cope. They see failure as an opportunity for growth .In simple  terms what you tell yourself matters.

I agree with the idea of keeping a journal you can pick up on patterns and triggers for moods Look at your energy levels and the need to keep rested and well.Take care   Love Cate x

p.s. What do you see sa your 'true self'?