fed.up's recent talkabout about meeting up with an ex got me thinking about rekindling friendships that have died.  I do it. I meet up with people who contact me on Facebook etc, I usually have a great time with any awkwardness dissipated by a healthy slug of wine and then I say goodbye making great promises to see each other again soon.

Truth is, then I rarely do.

Should we leave old relationships in the past? Or has anyone ever had a successful 'let's meet up' experience which has developed into a well-meaning and positive relationship. 

I can't imagine meeting up with someone from my past.

My friendships fell by the wayside for a reason.

And...

I was not always the person you see here today. My personality was very 'prickly'. I can't imagine anyone WANTING to get back in touch with the person I used to be.

From personal, painful experience, I would say that as far as old 'relationships' are concerned they should be left well and truly in the past because you can have no idea of where meeting up with an old flame might lead, regardless of how well intentioned the initial meeting might be and the resultant pain can be devestating.

Old friends are a bit different, I'm in touch with over 20 of the people I started seconday school with in 1961 as well as our form teacher.

It's been nice seeing them all again although only 5 of us stay in regular contact. But that's no surprise, if we'd been that close then we would still have been in touch but when you leave school, as when you leave a job, most of the time you then cease to have quite as much in common with people who, only a few weeks ago, were your best mates.

So, old mates? No problem

Old flames? No, No, No.

I think it really depends on how close you and the old friend used to be, and what separated you in the first place.

For example, I have a few friends from the studio I used to train at...there were five of us that competed, and we stuck together and formed a seperate group from the "normals" (our term for kids who did karate only recreationally). We were inseperable, or so it seemed.

At last count, I'm the only one left. One passed away in a car accident (the one that incidentally was my best friend), two left because of romantic relationships (one is pretty much married by now, and the other just had a baby at seventeen), and one graduated early and got a full ride to a private school up North. The latter is the only one I still have (somewhat stilted) contact with. I'm the only one still doing it at the elite level (and since I was the oldest that probably makes me crazy...but that's another talkabout).

I believe that where you've been makes you who you are, and the relationships you've had with people in the past forms your past. If you are close to someone, at least attempting to make contact is probably a good thing to do. If you were merely acquaintences, then it's, in my humble opinion, okay to kind of let things go.