My son came home from school today complaining that a boy in the year below him hit him on the arm.  It is well known in the school that this child is very 'difficult' and I don't think that my son is being singled out - he just happened to be the one that was hit today.

What should I say in such circumstances? It's against the school rules to hit back, naturally, and I have suggested ignoring him and keeping away from him, both of which are met with blank stares.

Anyone got any brilliant strategies for explain things like this to a kid... sometimes it's so hard to get the message through.         

Hey Wolfie,

I agree with Isabella that you son shouldn't retaliate but I also don't think that he should be passive either. Unless we teach our kids to express to their peers that their behaviour is wrong then it makes them and ultimately everyone depend on authority for keeping within the boundaries of good behaviour.  I am not trying to load the burden of the other child's behaviour on to your son or onto you but I figure that the school should be leading with a programme of educating children how to respond to this behaviour at school and we need to do it as parents and citizens as we come across it.  There is a lap over and I don't think we can just leave it up to parents or teachers.

My views might be a bit odd on this but I don't understand why the school is not dealing with this poor kid who is doing the biting - I suspect he is a little fellow but I hope someone starts working with him or what sort of adult life will he have?

If behaviour is poor to a peer, we need kids to say as an individual or as part of a group quite clearly, "I don't want you to bite me - when you bite me it hurts and I don't want to have anything to do with you.  Leave me alone until you can play properly."  It is the same with inappropriate behaviour in the workplace or the community - we have to surely teach our kids to express what they want so they can stand up for themselves and others when they are adults.  Oh goodness this is another rabbit hole for me.......

Our local public (government school) uses a Restorative Practice programme and trains the children from K - 6, their teachers and interested parents in how to deal with conflict.  Here is the website address - maybe you could contact the principle and get them to take up their duty of care for this young fellow.

 http://www.transformingconflict.org/Restorative_Approaches_and_Practices.htm

Good luck

UM