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Subject:

I am back

  • 15/06/2008 @ 06:12 bill said:
    bill
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    I have spent much of the last period on long distance walking paths. Something that I always wanted to do. I took my wife's memory and all of the kindness i found here with me. I have not been able to come on here again until today. I have read all of my posts and can see that i was in a place of torment. Even my spelling and ability to form words deserted me. It was hard to come back here. It is a return to knowing she is no longer there. My wife died here with all of you and me. And yet I am still alive and now need to think about what i am going to do with the rest of my life. Somewhere I have left my black moods behind. One day I was nearing the top of a high hill and all of the hovering thunder clouds moved off and the sun came out and I felt a lightness. It was the closest I ever came to believing there is a god.
  • 15/06/2008 @ 09:08 tracya said:
    tracya
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    great to have you back...and even better being able to say you are doing well.

    i feel that for some of us depression is a very strong signal that something is not right in our life...

     thanks for giving us all hope and a lovely image of being at the top of the hill...

  • 15/06/2008 @ 09:39 UMxx said:
    UMxx
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    Dear Bill,

    It feels good that you are back.  I have been wondering how difficult it may be for you to come back on the Wall but I am glad to hear that you are doing okay.  I wonder what it is about long walks that allows us to sort through our lives.  It tends to be an attraction to clear ourselves - perhaps its the pace and the exercise and the air.  Maybe it is just that nature is a good healer.  I loved that image of you on the hill top.  Take care mate  UM xx

     

     

  • 15/06/2008 @ 10:12 cate said:
    cate
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    Dear Bill,   I think we have all been hoping that you would one day find your way back to the Wall.  It's so good to know you are able to think more clearly .  The long walks are healing and meditative  for me too . It gives me time to be by myself and reflect without the distractions of home.

    Stay well and  let us know  how things are going , Cate.  xx

  • 15/06/2008 @ 10:31 Swon said:
    Swon
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    Hi Bill,

     

    A BIG welcome back.

     

    It's good to see you here again, we've been needing a boost for the mature male input, there aren't many of us about.

     

    Take care mate.

  • 15/06/2008 @ 10:54 Mebenji said:
    Mebenji
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    Hello Bill,

    So good to see you again, (((hugs))), welcome back, friend.

    -Mebenji

  • 15/06/2008 @ 12:02 Brown Bear said:
    Brown Bear
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    Hello Bill, what a woderful surprise to have you back.  Only a couple of days ago I was wondering what you were up to.

     

    This seems to me like a huge step forward for you - a triumph when you were not sure you wanted to do it.  And I suspect quite a turning point in your life and in the process of grieving.

     

    I see you have started quite a few TAs - I'm off to read them.  BB 

  • 16/06/2008 @ 05:31 squeezedshut said:
    squeezedshut
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    Hi Bill, Good to see ya around again. Love that image of the mountain top. Hope the light keeps on shining for ya. Squeezy
  • 16/06/2008 @ 07:26 bill said:
    bill
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    Thank you. All these welcomes make me feel glad to be back. I am thinking about whether to send off some of my photographs from my walking to a walking magazine perhaps with a short write up. I am just a bit afraid that I am rather old to be trying this.
  • 16/06/2008 @ 07:52 Swon said:
    Swon
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    Bill,

    DO IT.

     

    Everyone of us has regrets about things we didn't do, I know I certainly have so if you feel like sharing your pictures and story with a wider audience then put it all together and send it off to relevant publications; Walkers Weekly or whatever, ( sorry, I'm guessing).

     

    Let us know when they get published so that we can buy a copy.

     

    Good luck.

  • 16/06/2008 @ 08:17 UMxx said:
    UMxx
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    Yes Bill that is a great idea.

     

    And for those of us who don't get the opportunity to buy walker's magazines (I think it is regarded only as an extreme sport here) you might like to try your hand at a couple of bricks?

     

    And if not let us know of the magazines names and we can try to see the photos that way.

     

    Cheers

     

    UM xx 

  • 16/06/2008 @ 11:59 Mebenji said:
    Mebenji
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    Yes please, Bill - do send them off. It's not like diving of the 10metre platform! All they can do is say "No, these aren't what we're looking for" or "they are not professional enough". Maybe they hire their own photographers. You are never too old for this - what does age have to do with taking photos and sending them to a magazine, maybe even having them used? Go for it! 0

    And I would like to know which magazine, if it is on the Net, too.

    Will you please try to make a brick or two using photos? May have to crop, or only partially cover a Brick - still be lovely, I'm sure.

    -Mebenji

  • 10/07/2008 @ 11:06 UMxx said:
    UMxx
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    Haloooo Bill,

     

    I just wondered how you are going - and of course still interested in knowing if you are pursuing the idea of having your photos published?

     

    lots of love

    UM xx 

  • 10/07/2008 @ 17:12 katy said:
    katy
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    For what it is worth, I think it is a great idea. Can you put one on a brick for us to see?
  • 11/07/2008 @ 12:21 bill said:
    bill
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    I am doing well thank you. I have not yet decided what to do with my photographs and I am a bit emabarssed to put them ona brick. I have been doing voluntary work with young offenders for the last copule of weeks. I have been getting them to take photatographs of their lives. Really interesting.
  • 11/07/2008 @ 14:01 Mebenji said:
    Mebenji
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    Hi Bill,

     

    Good to hear from you and that you are well. that volunteer work sounds interesting, and challenging too. You must surely have a way of connecting with people to do that, to gain their trust, to be able to encourage them to share their lives - some, if not all, are surely not pretty - that's good work to do. Have you shown them some of your photos?

     

    I wonder what is embarrassing about sharing your photos with us, Bill? I understand the feeling. I had my own doubts - I thought the photos I took aren't so good to share. I realised the focus wasn't actually on what I wanted. (that's so hard for me.) I had to crop some to fit, but I didn't want to cut into the main feature. Oh, I am fussy. I even went to the trouble of 'cleaning' them up of spots and scratchy looking marks I could see when I zoomed 'em up large. & I thought: you know, if you don't like it, or if no one likes it (I would be happy if one person did. Not Everyone has to like them) but if not one did, I could simply delete the brick and never make one again. Wouldn't that be sad though?

     

    People like all kinds of things here. Self expression seems what is more important. I would agree now, to that too. I look at a picture, a drawing, however the brick has been made, not to criticize it, but to see what some-one's expression is. That is what I want to know about. Sure, I get curious too, always will, about how someone has created something. Some of these bricks simply amaze me, how someone has managed to create their image - totally mysterious and I want to know.

     

    So, please, unless you were mooning the camera (not sure I want to see that) please share a photo or two?  :)

     

    -Mebenji

     

  • 13/07/2008 @ 07:11 UMxx said:
    UMxx
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    Hey Bill,

     

    What a wonderful area of community service you have chosen.  I am a bit interested in what photos the young men take of their lives - I reckon that would be a great exhibition in the future to build some community bridges - or even a blog site that the young men could see their photos on and perhaps even write a few words.  

     

    As for being embarassed about your photos of your walking trips - wow you must have us wrong - speaking for myself - I don't get to see much of the regular country side of the UK - doesn't get a lot of time on Doctor Who or Inspector Morse, Midsummer Murders etc - the camera just flashes past. I would love to see some of your country side.  I just take photos of trees in our bush - they all mean something to me but I understand that it might be monotonous - well that's what my kids tell me.  My sister came back from a short trip to england and scotland last year and the photos were all of country lanes - the novelty of something so different.

     

    I don't want you to feel it is pressure though - just would be lovely to see.

    glad to hear from you.

     love UM xx

  • 14/07/2008 @ 20:22 roze said:
    roze
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    Hello Bill. Your work with young people sounds very exciting. It is good to see you around. hugs roze
  • 11/08/2008 @ 12:02 virtage said:
    virtage
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    Hi Bill,

     I'm very new to the wall...I was looking for i'm no sure for what, i've posted two pretty blocks, and because I'm in that phase in life in which you start to reanalyse yourself and to rebuild a new set of believes different from what supported you when you were younger and inexperienced, I thought I'd come here and share that with people. Bill, my friend, I've no idea where you come from, how old you are, what you look like, but you made it real. You made my signing up to the wall a thing worth doing, and now I understand why I did sign up. To learn to be humble, to put myself on the side and to learn from people like you, real people with real lives, with real tragedies and come backs and strength, even enough strength to give it back to other people. Thank you so much. V x

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