BECAUSE I HURT

Because I hurt.... I'm crippled
My mind is stuck in time,
It harbours thoughts and visions
Can't wash away the grime.

Because I hurt....I felt damaged
From the time that I was young,
You said I wasn't worthy
Those words hit hard, they stung.

Because I hurt....I felt guilty
For whatever I did do wrong,
You stripped me of my feelings
To heal, my journey's long.

Because I hurt....I felt the shame
Of the harm that I did do,
I thought that it would heal the hurt
But I know it's just not true.

Because I hurt....I felt rejected
And that pain was so very deep,
That little girl was all alone
She'd cry herself to sleep.

Because I hurt....I can't express
My feelings deep inside,
They're locked up tight and can't be reached
The secrets are what I hide.

Because I hurt....I felt violated
In my mind, my body and soul,
You stripped me from my very self
The innocence of life you stole.

Because I hurt....I can't love myself
You never showed me how,
Hate for me is all I felt
For years, right up to now.

Because I hurt....I am not free
To think of happy thoughts,
The memories reel inside my head
Compassion is all I sought.

Because I hurt....I still can't heal
The hurt is here to stay,
Maybe it was all just a dream
This is what I do pray.

Because I hurt....I try to escape
From the emptiness I feel inside,
But the darkness holds me prisoner
My "self" it's gone...it died.

Because I hurt....I felt vulnerable
I trusted you above all,
I didn't know that what you did
Was wrong, it was your call.

Because I hurt....I tried to deny
All things that made me sad,
I often thought I deserved all this,
That just maybe I was bad.

Because I hurt....I can't seem to find
Any goodness inside of me
I only see a crying child
With tears that are too blinding to see.

Because I hurt....my fight is gone
My thoughts I can't divert,
This is how I explain the words
"BECAUSE I HURT."