I am in a bit of a twit. My baby girl has a fairly big role in her drama club performance next Tuesday evening - like the whole intro to the story. As i picked her up yesterday, her tutor said "And looking forward to the costume'. Oh shit. OH SHIT BIG TIME. She is an impish impala - look here

I was allowed to read for two years in sewing classes for the sake of all who cherish cross-stitch as art form ........i cannot sew together seconds let alone a sweet impish impala (have you seen those ears?)

ADVICE please on how the hell i recreate an impish impala costume without trying to thread a needle......... 

Hey Rose,

have you got a pair of bunny ears from Easter?  Get Ruby to paint them light brown and white.  Textas ( Felt pens - I don't know what you call them - or even white board markers) will do.  Otherwise the fairy shop will have headband with wiring, that you could wrap triangles of brown felt from the craft shop into a concave shape and allow her to paint that with the white inside the ears.

Get a length of cord or a belt for her waist.  If she has a pair of brown tights from winter cut off about 5 inches and stuff it evenly with the rest of the stocking and make her a cute little tail to waggle.   she will need to paint the tip white - corrector fluid at a pinch.

The rest should be a plain leotard - if you have an old one that is other than brown, you could melt some candle wax on the chest for the white bib that impalas have, and then make a very strong pot of coffee - drink the first cup yourself and then pour the remainder in a basin with the leotard and you have a brown outfit.  You put the wax on thickly enough to stop the dye - or you could just get a piece of white felt and cut out the bib shape.

Impalas are very sleek so they need something like a leotard.  My Daisy has a pink velvet one that has been a range of colours that generally come clean - though I did have trouble with the tumeric once and that one remained in for quite a while.

Black jiffies for the feet (do you have them - like little flat slippers - or black runner liners if there are no jiffies.  Oh and another pair of tights on her legs. and white gloves or brown leather ones - but white will look better on stage.

 Your best eyeliner to draw big beautiful eyelashes - or you could just buy false ones if she could tolerate it. and a little black nose.  Don't forget to put the moisturiser on first or it will be a pain to take off.  There are websites to show you how to paint animal faces.

so you need :

brown felt squares  to cut triangles of  5 " x 9"

A head band - bunny or fairy with wired jiggly bits

2 pairs of brown tights

a cheap or old leotard

square of white felt

black jiffies or runner liners (socks)

white cotton gloves for her front legs and to emphasise her impish hands 

Your make up

this should be do'able - or bribe someone to come and help you with promises of stolli :)

This is the best I can come up with - have checked out the web and there are lots of sewing patterns but not much else.

Does the UK have zoos??  Ring their shop and find out if they sell animal ears on headbands - as long as it could pass for an impala great.  We have kangaroo ears that would be fine.

Ikea (settle down Inspire!) sell kids dress ups here and I don't know what animals they are this year - could be worth a phone call.  They generally come with the ears, gloves, feet and tail.

Shame is I have this stuff all in the basement in those big plastic storeage chests - I knew someone would want it one day - just didn't think it would be someone from a virtual space.

xx UM 

hi Roze like you I'm all thumbs when it comes to sewing . My mum did most of my sewing for  school. As for my kids i would had to have had at least 6 mths notice for costumes . What i did was mostly  with the help of glue , staples and paper ,. ans yes I  did staple cloth  material  as well as paper . The clown suit I  shamefully admit I payed someone to make up - I think the ballet teacher out sourced the work -  she was most particular and the costumes elaborate.   Good luck and take lots of photos, Cate xx

I am in absolute awe.  My idea was to paint the child brown, and then add on rabbit ears from easter painted in the same brown.  I was pondering whether impala had horns when I read to the bottom and saw your problems had all been solvered!

Just for the record - my apron in grade 7 was held up to the class as a prime example of how NOT to sew, my apron pocket likewise how not to embroider. 

After 2 years of compulsory "Domestic Science" as one curriculum subject, the 3rd year of my being away at school we chose our elective subjects.  My friends [little darlings; bless 'em] told the domestic science goddess, AKA Miss Cook [I remember you, Miss!] that I was going to do the full Dom Sci course, and she actually ran through the school looking for me to tell me that I could/would/should/must not!

Loudly, calling out, "Jomo!  Come here girl!  You can't do this!"  How embarassment.

Well, Roze, since then I made clothes and costumes etc for a huge number of kids and occasions - advice then from an old hand: if all fails, dress the child in mediaval costume, add Vampire teeth, and tell the teacher you thought they said Vlad the Impaler...

Jo xxx

I expect you had some difficulty, Roze - making ears from a Stolli bottle!  BB

PS.  What is this Stolli, anyway? 

Wodka - dah - furst wiss sprinkling ov da pepper, dah, pepper sink, you drink, pepper no sink, you no drink.  Nyet! Nyet!

Chap told me that once - a Russian.  Something to do with dodgy vodka made in oil drums?  Yes, it was a long time ago.  Yes, he had been WW2 soldier.  I was a TINY CHILD, I just have a retentive memory, alright?

This just goes to show that wine although of fruit is simply not a health drink!

I wonder if we would have more success in singing the virtues of stoli over say, um, er , tofu?  I am looking for a cheese that works with vodka - Vodka makes me hungry.  Any ideas Komrad Jo?  or anyone?

I do remember a good night drinking Mao Tai somewhere in China and at one stage eating kind of a jelly fish salad with peanuts in a chilli vinegar dressing.  Tasted okay at the time but then I woke up three days later - so yes I will stick with the cheese.  

 Vodak is great for distressed mothers

Well i am finding a nice cold glass of white wine post major kitchen cleaning operation is helping a great deal! It was touch and go on the clean up front - a sort of law of diminishing returns - as the girls were generating as much washing up as i was clearing - but their results are AMAZING

guaranteed hyperactivity until way past my bedtime i think! And still no further on with that Impish Impala costume.........