Comments

• 18/05/2008 @ 11:32 UMxx said

  

  Hey anon, you can talk here - every time you comment here you will be anon.

  What's happening behind your sadness is there something you need to offload? If there is I'm here and listening.

• 19/05/2008 @ 02:01 Anonymous said

  

  hi UM, thanks for your comment. there's nothing particular behind it all that makes me cut. i've been doing it for about 8 or 9 years now, and have never really found a specific reason why i'm so down so often. i guess i'm just one of the unlucky ones.

  but there are several people who know that i 'used to' cut myself, and think that i quit about 5 or 6 years ago, but none of them know that i'm still doing it, and mostly i think that's a good thing. but occasionally, i do wish i had someone close to me who i could talk to about it without worrying them.

• 19/05/2008 @ 06:06 UMxx said

  

  So if there was someone you felt you could trust - who wouldn't just worry about you - what would you say to them?

  I've done some self harm myself and so understand it from why I did it - it was about feeling physical pain and not just emotional pain - trying to make it real - more than trying to hurt myself. I have my moments still but have been working with a psychologist about depression and anxiety - it changes the focus for me.

• 19/05/2008 @ 17:48 Anonymous said

  

  i'm not too sure what i'd say to them. i guess it would depend on what was going on for me at the time, because although i usually can't exactly put my finger on why i'm feeling the way i do, i am usually triggered by something, even if that thing is just being generally more stressed at the time, or feeling more alone than usual.

  i used to see someone about it, but quit going a number of years ago, and i often wish i hadn't stopped going. i think even though i didn't really see it at the time, just having somebody to talk to confidentially and objectively helped me more thank i knew

• 19/05/2008 @ 17:48 Anonymous said

  

  **i mean "...more THAN i knew"

• 19/05/2008 @ 18:58 UMxx said

  

  so do you think you might start seeing someone else to work with you?

• 19/05/2008 @ 19:25 Anonymous said

  

  no, i very much doubt it will. i made another brick related to that which i saw you'd just replied to:

  http://www.bigwhitewall.com/walls/brick/6039/

  it's not even so much that first time round it was a bad experience, only that i am afraid of what the adult services will be like, and i know that i will be unable to see the same person i saw before as an adolescent. i'm just scared of the unknown i guess...

  thanks for your replies, by the way :o)

• 19/05/2008 @ 19:26 Anonymous said

  

  **another typo, "...i very much doubt I will..."

  sorry about that!!

• 19/05/2008 @ 20:02 UMxx said

  

  Yeah well that makes sense - starting off with a new counselor - well all that revisiting all over again stirs up lots of old pain and hurt.

  Have you thought about starting a TA and asking for experiences from others in the UK - sorry but I am from Aust so don't have any experience.

  Anyway - it sounds like you know the worse that you feel the stronger the feeling is to hurt yourself - is there anything I can do in terms of listening about how you are feeling?

• 19/05/2008 @ 22:21 Anonymous said

  

  hmm, that could be a good idea, i might do that in a minute (the TA thing). i really appreciate you just being here and listening - there's not much more you can do, but that helps

  thanks

• 26/08/2008 @ 17:50 upsidedownsmiles said

  

  Hi, I just wanted to let you know that I get it! I used to do it (I did it recently aswell actually) I tried to explain it to a patient at work like this....it's like being an alcoholic, or a drug addict, it's your release and it becomes addictive. It becomes a security blanket, whenever things go wrong you know you have that release! particularly when you really believe things are your fault. An alcoholic drinks to escape and self punish, to avoid and absent themselves, the same with drugs, we cut. I want to do it all the time, but I made myself stop, but that doesn't mean I stopped thinking about it. It takes all the will power in the world. I'm here if you want to talk as someone who understands x

• 26/08/2008 @ 20:53 Anonymous said

  

  thank you, upsidedownsmiles. i appreciate it xx