A short fuse

UMxx

Brick created on 15/08/2008 @ 05:40

Your brick story

We are still dealing with a significant presence of police and forensic officers in the street. Police tape still wraps the house where my neighbour died. The number of people working on the scene still outnumbers the residents on this part of the block.

The gossip and the conversations about the suspected homicide continues - it is the topic that is all that people have spoken to me about at school for the last three days. I am amazed how few people who seem able to relate that a human died and that their intrigue with a local event seems to require that they forget this.

So far this week, some of the less sensitive comments have bounced off my thick skin - but some have not and I am getting more and more angry with the lack of humanity on display.

The intrigue of the investigation seems to outweigh an acknowledgement of a tragedy.

A question of "did you know her", is more often followed by some bizarre comment - "I was thinking it was probably domestic violence!" "

Do you think it was because of drugs?"

"They were probably part of the xyz mafia" - Not a lot of thinking going into this - well I can't see evidence of thinking - certainly no evidence of feeling.

Following up on my comment that "no they are a lovely family very friendly and kind people and have always been very active in their church" brought the following response. "Oh yes, but they probably just joined the church for a network! " And here I am, the actively practising athiest, that's defending my Christian neighbours -I am sick of hearing people attacking people's faith -it doesn't matter what faith it is - it should be about respect - I don't defend those who are the bureaucrats with any energy when it is about issues beyond faith - but faith I respect.

The worst comment so far came from someone I know reasonably well from the school community. "Well you must be happy about living in your not so safe street - you know it will affect the property values"

In the next moment all I could see was me wearing a pair of black stilettos and making a martial arts move that would have done Trinity from the Matrix proud. The heel would have hit her on the left temple - and I would walk away...." And yes, I would have been happy to wear the black leather outfit too.

Well of course that didn't happen. Unlike me, I snapped back that given a women has died perhaps I didn't give a flying fuck about property prices. She looked momentarily confused and said,"yes that was probably a bit insensitive". I disagreed "That's the most shocking thing that anyone has said to me about my neighbours death all week - take the prize it's all yours."

She turned on her heel and walked away. And yes despite the fact that being angry and dealing with her in that way won't really elevate her thinking to a new level of sensitivity - I couldn't care. I am over trying to be reasonable with some of the idiots I encounter - I know why I am polite but can't be bother trying to form relationships with this lot. I can see only a grim future based on the values that are being expressed.

I remain angry in general - not at anyone or anything specific - just angry today. The human race makes absolutely no sense at all - what is it that we are here for - no environmental benefit - still feels like a crazy mad scientist experiment that we are failing.

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Comments

15/08/2008 @ 09:18 cate said

Well Um I'm gobsmacked by the insensitivity of somepeople . Your account was chilling . Property values! I think you acted with what must have been considerable restraint . I have often thought termites and other insects with social order have more integrity than our species .I too share your sadness ,
with love, Cate
15/08/2008 @ 09:20 cate said

I should have added that for me after sadness comes bewilderment as I seek to understand. .Cate xx
15/08/2008 @ 13:51 UMxx said

I think maybe given this situation that I will hit bewiderment when more details have been released - so far there is almost nothing in terms of details to understand. Oh imagine the rabbit holes I could disappear down :/ lots of love to you UM xx
15/08/2008 @ 15:39 Mebenji said

Hi UM,
Might seem odd, or not, I don't know - makes my mind feel in a very strange way, sort of misshapen sometimes when I think of some things. I was thinking of TV crime dramas, that indeed, (apparently) young people are becoming interested in forensic science as a career more so since CSI series, (especially those), and such similar series of TV. Also how often a fictional TV/movie character is talked about as if that is the real person, not the actor playing a role...very annoying and now it is expected it seems, when advertising one show to relate a character to another show as if there is any relationship there at all - when it is the Actor playing a completely different role ... sound confusing? I think it has become very confused...
...and now your neighbours, the people you mention, are all living their very own real life CSI Os drama! (They are extras who would like more than bit parts - might even be jealous because you being so very nearly on the scene, centre stage, are closer than they are to being the Stars of the 'show'! AAAAHHHGGGGKKKK!!! I think I believe this is what is happening!
The boundary between what is real, not real, fiction, fantasy, all of it, seems so wide and deep and blurred...It is one thing to have a potent imagination, but we also have all kind of aids to enhance our emotions and imaginings...I think it is wonderful, but there does seem to be this very dark area, where we do fail to recognise the human, the real feelings of others, even how to...
It is odd to me, how we can get so caught up in 'unreality' sometimes more than the ordinary, everyday reality that happens in drips and drabs compared to the pace of fantasy.
-Mebenji
15/08/2008 @ 16:03 inspire said

I'm not quite sure what to say other than that people simply stink sometimes. People are very interested in the drama part of sad things and often get caught up with it all. Anger is appropriate in these circumstances ... and there is nothing wrong with feeling that way about how the situation is being handled by others.
Sending many hugs and lots of love, Inspire xxx
17/08/2008 @ 13:39 harmony said

Hi UM
This is truly shocking but I fear not too uncommon. Mebenji's reflection on it sounds about right.
As for what comes after sadness? Whatever comes will be what comes after your sadness - I'd try not to have expectations of a specific pattern. Whatever somes, youi tke care of yourself in it all.
Love Harmony
08/09/2008 @ 21:46 summer76 said

Going back to Harmony's post on anger um,
Now that is the kind of fxxxxxx anger I like. I am applying for your 3 year intensive course in 'How to lose all repressive inhibition and instinctively utter that well aimed, well informed expletive'.
Ironic turn on your brick is that I feel if more of people like you and me got angry like this the world would not be as sad a place as it is.

As for the Leather - From now on YOU ARE EMMA PEEL - AVENGER.

Bloody well done and take a well earned prize and rest.
Thinking of you sister

Summer XX