Comments

• 24/05/2008 @ 21:18 younger said

  

  Hello nitemarenicole, I am so sorry that I didn't see your brick before - please, please start talking about what is going on for you? Try starting a talkabout with some simple things about how you feel and see what happens - people will respond, people will listen.... sometimes bricks don't get noticed for a while. Talk, please. Big hug

• 24/05/2008 @ 21:24 Wolfie said

  

  What has happened recently for you? Can you talk about it? We are here to help and we are listening. Wx

• 24/05/2008 @ 23:13 roze said

  

  You support others, you want to fix yourself and now will you allow yourself to be supported? We are here and listening and truly do care what is happening for you? Please see if you are able to share what is happening for you. THinking of you niemarienicole and here whenever you are ready. Hugs roze

• 24/05/2008 @ 23:13 Brown Bear said

  

  Hullo Nicole, I haven't seen you around before. There is a sense of achievement in helping other people: sometimes their problems seem so simple to fix when your own seem insurmountable. It gives one a sense of being at least some use to the world, especially if if feels like you have failed in your own situation. So, I guess your list of mishaps is so long you don't know where to start: could you tell us just the two worst things that need to get straightened out. You never know someone might just be able to help. BB

• 25/05/2008 @ 03:22 Mebenji said

  

  Hello Nicole,

  
  I am glad you have reached out to us here. Shows me you haven't quit yet, and you don't want to. I send you my heart-felt hugs.

  
  I know that in the many ways people work helping others there are often if not always someone for the workers to turn to when they feel overwhelmed and in need of support. The kind of work you do can be so stressful and workers can easily become personally effected by the families they meet. I have the utmost admiration for people who do this work.

  
  However, you are human too, and need care yourself. There are many people here more than willing to listen and offer suggestions.

  
  My first suggestion is to not try to sort everything out all at once, not as one big lump - that's too big for anyone. I have found it works better to deal with one bit at a time, as necessary. Even if the focus needs to be so narrow as to deal with one moment of pain or sorrow at a time. You might like to pour everything out in one big mess on the page, or here, however you choose, then we can take it one step at a time after. To make up my own phrase - to move that mountain from on ourselves we need only move each stone, one at a time.

  
  Be patient, just hang on a bit longer. I know these very dark moments do become lighter again. You are not alone anymore.

  -Mebenji

• 22/11/2008 @ 05:43 starasewart said

  

  coming from someone who just lost two people in the last 3 months- 1 to a freak accident and 1 to suicide. trust me it's not worth it. the pain and angst you are feeling is nothing compared to what those around you will feel if you leave them... life always has a way to pan out if you let it.... trust me... someone loves you and will miss you more than words can say... and what will it say to all of those people you helped if you end it... won't that make them question if they should too??? you're worth more than a permanent ends.

• 23/11/2008 @ 18:59 roze said

  

  starastewart - i am so sorry to hear about your losses. Your words are very wise. How are you doing nitemarienicole?

• 24/11/2008 @ 07:53 nitemareniccole said

  

  thank all of you for your comments, it has been a hard go....

  i quit my job. i felt i couldnt do it perfect. not to sound like a charity case, but i had a rough childhood and will be forever haunted by not doing things perfectly, good enough, fast enough, or any other way you can think of putting it.

  so im 1 and a half terms away from graduating with a degree majoring in criminal law. leaving the demands of a prestensious boss and ignorant families that didnt want the help anyway was the best decision i had made. i mean, really, if a job had me that far down, it was time to put the job down....

  thanks for all the support

• 24/11/2008 @ 10:53 Mebenji said

  

  Hello Nitemarieniccole, good to hear from you again, better that it seems you've come a long way up from where you were in May.

  From what you've said, you had parents a lot like mine - nothing I ever did was good enough, try as hard as I could, I was not able to please them; I could not earn any praise or appreciation. My step-mother was most upfront about it, while my father just let things go on and on, as if he didn't notice... It takes a long time to come out of this sort of upbringing. I carry so much of it with me still. It's hard for me to think anything I attempt to do is worth the attempt; it's gotta be done, complete, without visible flaws, or anything to re-do. Too much to expect when you're learning something new - everyone falters and makes mistakes. It doesn't have to Perfect to be good, good enough, or for you to have benefited from doing - like your studies in criminal law; I bet you've got a lot out of that even though you've got one and a half terms to go. It sounds a very challenging course you've taken on. Lots of us couldn't do it - you are doing it! :)

  Plus you made a very serious decision about the job - sounds a very good decision too. & you're right, you know (so glad to note you weren't blaming yourself) if the circumstances you are in are getting you down; change the circumstances as you are able. Quitting that job was a huge step, a big change. I think it is a good idea to fully concentrate on the remainder of your degree; that's plenty of stress for anyone.

  Would you later want to do work similar to what you were doing? Or are you aiming for something else once you have your degree?

  -Mebenji

  
  

• 28/11/2008 @ 06:10 roze said

  

  I am so glad you were able to make that decision. Sometimes it is only in the lead up to a decision that we are so torn - once made we can be free. Good luck with your degree! Rx

• 01/12/2008 @ 04:22 nitemareniccole said

  

  mebenji- i am wanting to do something similiar to what i was already doing....just not as direct, maybe something in the probation field, group home, ect.
  only down side is that that kind of work isnt available where i live so i am anticipating a move to a bigger city this summer...

• Yesterday @ 14:14 roze said

  

  And how do you feel about moving to a bigger city?

• Yesterday @ 20:58 nitemareniccole said

  

  roze- oh im completely fine with it, im not from the small "city" where i am currently living. i am quite excited to move...

  thanks for asking!!

• Today @ 02:36 Mebenji said

  

  That sounds really positive - seems your mind is in a much better place now.

  These areas you're wanting to work in can be awfully stressful. What are you going to do to deal with the stress of the work?

  -Mebenji

• Today @ 03:15 nitemareniccole said

  

  ive already been working on stress tactics and how to manage my time and future clients.....
  the positive side is that i wont be in an environment where i am in their homes, ect

• Today @ 06:23 roze said

  

  You appear to have made some really powerful decisions - that is fantastic! Perhaps you could share your stress tactics - i could use some! Rx