Comments

• 26/06/2008 @ 10:45 harmony said

  

  Hi UM

  Trying to master the skill of finding new bricks and found your but unfortuntately even on biggest text i can't read blue on black
  Sorry.

  x H

• 26/06/2008 @ 11:42 UMxx said

  

  Sorry H.

  It says,

  "Is it possible that there are a number of considerations to take when we scrutinise our feelings- a number of ways to think of our feelings. Not just to scrutinise for understanding but also allowing for the feelings to just remain and stop bothering them until the understanding is possible"

  This is typical of me the night before a session with the shrink.

  cheers

  UM xx

• 27/06/2008 @ 02:40 cate said

  

  That's a question I ask of myself at times . I do feel that we can overanalyze. There are simply no answers to some of our questions and never will be . The protagonists may have died or disappeared and we have changed too.
  There are some feelings that should be allowed to respectfully rest When you say ' allowing the feelings to just remain and stop bothering them' UM this suggests to me that you allow these feelings to resurrect themselves. There are many feelings and events from the past that I will never understand or deal with and that's a sad fact. When they arise to bother me i actively remind myself that there I am perseverating and it's useless in that there are many feelings that will never be comprehended and so be it. I think it's important to learn how to deal with feelings that resurface and learn to put some of the bothersome ones in the too hard basket and leave them there.
  With love . Cate

• 27/06/2008 @ 07:15 UMxx said

  

  Yes Cate I think it is important to let some just be and not try to push them away or try to deal with them but also not try to work through something that is as yet unworkable.

  I think sometimes our capacity to work out some of our feelings is improved when we are able to observe it and well as feel it from the middle.

  I put mine in an old cake tin that was my mum's a very strong visual image for me. Problem is I think sometimes I don't put the lid on firmly enough Ha!

• 27/06/2008 @ 21:10 iris said

  

  Hi UM

  Hope you had a good session.

  Thanks for writing it out for me.

  I used to tie myself up in knots over analysing feeling-I used to write out a table with the headings: event/ thoughts/resultant (negative) feelings (was no point doing it for the positive feelings as they were not an an issue!)and I'd start from the feeling and try to work back to find the origin to understand what had casued the troublesome feeling to form. It was useful in small doses but I could have driven myself bonkers with it.I later discovered wearing an elastic band on the wrist and pinging it when I caught myself with a negative thought worked a treat and was far less intellectually demanding.

  Somehow over the years I'm become a lot more intuitive and self trusting than I used to be and I tend to be much less intense that I used to be. I sort of work on the premise that things will rise up when they need exploring, and I try to honour that by paying attention to feelings that rise up - doesn't always work of course,and can need revisiting severeal times but it's a way I've developed and it's gentler on my old brain than how I used to try to work things out and feels gentler for me.

  xH

• 27/06/2008 @ 21:15 iris said

  

  Forgot I was in niece's new member details - she left the site open on screen when she popped along to supermarket. She'll kill me - she'll need to change it all new and get a new name, Ooop!

• 27/06/2008 @ 21:21 harmony said

  

  Hi UM - back as myself. Will have some explaining to do to my niece when she comes back with her bargains from Adsa Wallmart! I was too tired to go with her.

• 27/06/2008 @ 23:54 UMxx said

  

  Oh I was a little confused for a moment :) Because this is my brick I can delete the messages if you like to keep her details private. Please let me know. UM xx

• 28/06/2008 @ 08:14 harmony said

  

  Thanks for the offer, UM but when I told her she said not worries as she will rejoin from own computer over the weekend in another name - she hadn't posted anything. She'll have mmore privacy if I don't know her user name.
  Have a good weekend.

  xH

• 29/06/2008 @ 09:12 Mebenji said

  

  Hi, Harmony, and Pleased to meet you Iris.
  I'm still confused - but that may be just as well under the circumstances. AND I am pleased to see someone else has problems reading some things here. I was about to ask UM if she really wanted me to read this or not? Then I read your message and UM's kind translation! :) "It's all Good!"

  I'm trying to deal with the feelings more than I used to. Any dealing with feelings is more than I used to. Before I would toss them up and away to the furthest reaches of deep shelves in the room in my head.

  A balance needs to be found between how much to analyse and how much to let lie, let be and watch perhaps. Even if annoying, feelings can be curious things. More complex or more simple than we can imagine in the first instance.

  We need to learn to take care of when and how much time and energy to spend on self-examination and how much to experience and live.

  -Mebenji