Comments

• 30/05/2008 @ 10:08 UMxx said

  

  Hello Iwantron,

  What a shame that your husband is more concerned about your looks than how you feel - Have you tried to explain? UM xx

• 30/05/2008 @ 10:58 zorro said

  

  That doesn't sounds very fair of him. I bet he doesn't look like he did 10 years ago either! Sounds like UM has a point - maybe he doesn't realise how much he is upsetting you. Can you sit him down and ask him to quit it? Or perhaps there is something else going on - something in another area of his life he is dissatisfied with and is taking it out on you? I bet you look gorgeous by the way.. skinny is not actually all that.
  Zx

• 30/05/2008 @ 14:00 Iwantron said

  

  We have sat down over and over inthe last 6 years and "discussed" the way it makes me feel. He claims he only tells me that stuff because he cares and wants me to be healthy. I am healthy I go get a FULL physical every year and my doctore (has even put it in writing) that all my numbers are perfect. I'm not a couch potato. I speed walk every day 30 to 40 minuets. I know its not alot but it keeps my heart at a good rate. He actually (well his body) looks the exact same. I have even told him to his face I want out and his response is that , I just need to make the sacrafice and keep the family together, that it is better for our children. SO I have exactly 12 years 1 month and 3 days left before my youngest turns 18. And I'm gone!!

• 30/05/2008 @ 14:03 Iwantron said

  

  PS Thank you for both of your kind words. It helps to know there are others in this world that don't think a size 2 is the perfect size.

• 30/05/2008 @ 22:28 UMxx said

  

  Hi again, I wonder if your children are going to take on their dad's obsession with your body. Not in a way that might mean they join in with him - but in a way that they take on the attitutes - I would be concered that he is setting them up for an unhealthy attitude in life.

  Is this the only reason that you want a divorce? Or are there other issues? I hope you don't mind me saying this but he sounds pretty "full on" if some one told me they wanted a divorce, I wouldn't have thought that I would be bold enough to tell them that it is only their problem.

  Sorry I don't understand size 2 - here that would be for an average 24 month old toddler. but it sounds little and I think it is best to be healthy and fit rather than thin.

  I'd give him another chance of a "discussion" and just make a rule that he is not allowed to express such a negative view - if he can't understand that it is not in your best interests by now - he probably never will.

  Then I think it would be good to sign up to something you want to do for yourself - anything and ask him to look after the kids and get some serious time for your self. That might test what he is prepared to do for you though ...

• 31/05/2008 @ 18:16 Iwantron said

  

  I have joined a women's circle from our church, we meet once a month at night, and we do things together on the weekends once or twice a month depending on all of our children's schedules.
  My children already tell me that I am unhealthy, but at the same time they tell me they like the way I look. a frined of his heard him tell me just last night something about I should skip desert and maybe go for a walk instead. He turned to his friend I guess looking for an agreeing nod and his friend looked him straight in the face and told him maybe he should go for a walk so he could show me how a real man should treat his wife.
  It was great.
  my husband just laughed it off, but than apologized to me later saying he hopes he did not make mu uncomfortable. I took the opportunity to tell him he always makes me feel that way everytime he puts me down.
  He looked hurt, but never said another word. Today things have been a little crazy all three of our kids had BB games. So we will see what happens.
  Thank you for your support. It has helped.

• 31/05/2008 @ 18:18 Iwantron said

  

  oh as far as other issues, no not really but I have been dealing with this for 6 years now. I am over it.

• 01/06/2008 @ 02:27 UMxx said

  

  hey,

  Sounds like you and your husband have a great friend who is prepared to be honest with your husband and support you.

  It sounds like your husband is so fixated on how he wants you to look that he can't hear himself and can't see the hurt that it causes you. The worst of it is that there seems to be no hope for you marriage and he doesn't seem to be engaged in trying to save any part of that relationship either.

  I don't know what it will take for your husband to be conscious of his actions but unfortunately it will probably be something akin to a personal earthquake.

  Always here if you need and happy to support in whatever I can. UM xx