The Rez

thorn

Brick created on 03/01/2008 @ 05:04

Your brick story

My adopted family moved to the reservation because I am on the tribal roles. It was not an easy life. I grew up surrounded by violence, poverty and unhappiness. But in spite of this, I left a part of myself on the rez, and the only time I've felt complete and whole is when I am there. I can never go back because I'm scared that the rez will seduce me into staying. I have learned to live my life with a gaping wound in my soul. I have only met a few other American Indians who understand, and meeting them, talking to them, has temporarily soothed me. They understand that returning would be the death of us, and yet, we still yearn for it.

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Comments

09/01/2008 @ 09:48 Wolfie said

What is it about the rez that is so special to you? Is it the community or the place? I am just very interested as I know so little about American Indian reservations.
Love Wolfie
09/01/2008 @ 22:32 thorn said

It's hard to explain. It is not a romantic place. High School drop out rates are high. Men live to an average of 44 years. Alcoholism, suicide, and murder are higher than the national average. It's partially the community, people who have the same experiences as you. They understand what commodities are ( http://www.fns.usda.gov/fdd/programs/fdpir/pfs-fdpir.pdf ). They underwstand why I hate the IHS (Indian Health Service). Every year someone I knew died of exposure to either cold or heat. Every year someone I knew died of alchoholism. Every year someone I knew lost a young child or baby. The rez is a big, beautiful, and brutal place where I will be accepted based on who my grandparents are. Where I know what is expected of me, I know the rules, I fit in. Where I'm not an alien. I'm luckier than most because I pass, but that brings its own issues.