Comments

• 07/07/2008 @ 12:51 UMxx said

  

  Hey ROHM, I don't think that is the way that you will win against your mum. It is a very evil thing to say though. I have a hope that you will be able to leave that house and find a life for yourself away from this ugliness and get to know the wonderful things inside of you. I think the fact that you are strong and surviving might be the thing that your mum doesn't understand about you. Stay strong ROHM there are much better things to look forward to in life.

  lots of love
  UMxx

• 17/07/2008 @ 01:53 Mebenji said

  

  Oh, dear hear, your brick so very much reflects how I had felt when I was young, still stuck at home and being treated so badly, and thought about to terribly...if I didn't know better, I'd think you had my step-mother. How much worse that this is your mother?

  I can imagine that the way she felt and acts towards you would make it very easy to want to hurt her as badly as she has hurt you. I came to wonder if my absence, whether by my death or my leaving would have impacted upon my step-mother as I might have hoped. I think I would have been disappointed. When I did try to leave, by running away from home, & failed miserably, laughably really, I was more disappointed and saddened than anyone.

  When I did attempt suicide (actually I think for different reasons - not, I think, to hurt her. Maybe in part, at a subconscious level. I don't know) all she could do was make it clear how devastated my father was, how he couldn't talk to me, etc, etc. It was just another avenue of attack.

  When I finally did leave home, it was again a thing she could wield like a weapon - insisting I would be back in two weeks because I was so hopeless and useless, I couldn't look after myself, and how much my announcement the night before I left had hurt my father. She could care less - and would have felt some sort of victory if I had wanted to return. (yeah, right...I thought...there was no way I was returning. Besides, as it turned out, I wasn't entirely useless and hopeless after all.)

  I don't know that she (my step-mother) or your mother will ever know how much their words, their expressions, their open hostility and hatred have hurt. If/WHEN you are able to move out, construct your own life, without her in it (if that is what you want - I can't say, can I? I don't even know my mother, and how it must feel to you. I do know there might be some very confusing and conflicting feelings there for her. I've seen it others I have known. That is why I was thinking it must be worse when such awful things come from your own mother.

  I do wonder how you cope with it? Your friend who is being abused as well? Maybe that counsellor can be of even greater help to you than I first thought?

  (((Hugs))) to you. I hope we can help to keep your spirit strong.

  -Mebenji