It's not his - it's ours

UMxx

Brick created on 11/04/2008 @ 03:02

Your brick story

I would much rather that I didn't have to but I must be the navigator for my whole family to deal with my husband's disease - his symptoms but we are all affected.

I just hate it so much but then hate myself for feeling this way. I have to be so much more than I feel capable of being. What if I read the way wrong - what if I lose them on the way - what if I just get it wrong and all of the fears become true -

I can't just hide away in myself for ever. I can't just live with my hurt - I have to find a way of sharing all of this. It is just so overwhelming to know the size of the job and feel so small and inadequate. I am scared and I need to find the strength to step up. Little wonder escaping is so attractive - but not very useful

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Comments

11/04/2008 @ 20:47 younger said

unionmaid you are so immensely courageous. I am sure that you have the strength to see your journey through and I hope that in years to come you will reap what you deserve.
12/04/2008 @ 10:28 Mebenji said

Oh hello younger! What have you been up to?
Hi UM, Is my being here helpful?
I keep thinking when I encounter TAs and Bricks that express such fears for the future, that there is one old saying I think has merrit. I will repharse it a little for you... "One stinkin' *%#+&^ day at a tme!"
We can only deal with what is here and now, not the thing over the next hill, 'round the corner,or down the road...do what ever it is you do to relieve the tension, take some deep breaths, & ask him to hug you. I think that's only fair.
12/04/2008 @ 12:24 UMxx said

Hey, Yes it s good to have younger back - thank you Mebenji - it is always helpful to have you here. I'm breathing in and hold and out. UM x
14/04/2008 @ 09:34 coping said

when things seem so overwhelming - take it slowly - one step at a time. Deal with the important issues first and you will be surprised where the strength comes from. Take back the control - rule your life issues- dont let them rule you. Good luck.