Shock and Dismay

thorn

Brick created on 18/06/2008 @ 05:23

Your brick story

I have been working through my issues with my former love and tonight, while he was talking to me about some mundane nonsense, I realized I was aroused and I was surprised by it.

I pulled out the memory of him telling me our relationship was a pretense, which usually takes care of any stray hormonal feelings I have, but this time it didn't work.

Is there anything worse than having a purely physical reaction to someone who no longer reciprocates?

I don't know what's wrong with me, but one of our mutual friends was talking with us at the time and he (the friend) left shortly afterward. When I was able to gracefully extract myself I hunted him down and asked him why he left me there and he said it was to give me and my former love some privacy.

I'm even more upset that another person noticed my state.

One one hand I'm glad I can feel this way again, but on the other, I really didn't want it to be with him.

I'm still feeling tingly and it's been an hour since we parted.

I hope this isn't a precursor to things that come.

I am finally falling out of love, I don't need to be falling into lust.

Again.

Tags:

Comments

18/06/2008 @ 12:22 UMxx said

Dear Thorn, It really sounds like you have been cursed with an interesting year! Maybe the other person didn't really notice your "state" maybe it was just the conversation or respect for you both.
Maybe it is just a moment and it doesn't mean anything? I am just reacting to the comment that you didn't really want to be with him. It might not be about him.
Anyway thinking of you UM xx
21/06/2008 @ 06:13 thorn said

Hello UM, The other person knew.
I was hoping it was just a moment, but I've been under so much stress the sensual part of my nature shut down and this was the first time it has reared its head in months.

It wasn't just a one off either, I've spoken with him a couple of times since and for some reason the lust is back.

I might not have to deal with it much longer. I wrote a blog about this and I guess it read as if I was calling him a jerk, I wasn't, but I didn't hide my confusion either.

Oh well.

What doesn't kill us makes us stonger.