Sad

misfit

Brick created on 29/07/2008 @ 09:16

Your brick story

I dont think i have ever felt so sad and so lost as i have done for about a month now.

I had a hard childhood , abused by my dad, watched him beat my mum. I left in the end cause i was old enough. Had my own kids was left a single mum with three kids.
Because of my up bringing i decided there was no way in hell that my kids were ever going to have that sort of life. So i spent the last twenty odd years making sure my kids were happy.

Trouble is along the way i forgot about me. Family is a minimal i only have my grandad. My oldest has left home. I have very few friends not those that you can have a heart to heart with.

A little while ago i started chatting to a guy who ended up being ten years younger than me.
We just clicked, with everything so much in common, make each other laugh. There was an opportunity for me to go stay a few days with him which i jumped at. Nothing ever felt so right had an amazing time. But when i got home he told me that he wasnt ready for a relationship. He wanted us to be friends. He still txts me ten times a day and tells me that he doesnt want to lose me as a friend.
Thing is i think about him all the time, apart from my kids i have nothing else in my life to distract me. My job is boring i probably only go out once a week. I work full time.

I feel lost though, i feel as if i have no one and nothing. apart from my kids of course who mean the world to me. Its been like this for weeks and i just cant snap out of it.

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29/07/2008 @ 12:00 UMxx said

Hello misfit, Welcome to BigWhiteWall :)
You've had quite a lot happen in your life and I am glad that you have come here. I've found it a very supportive place - a godsend really. so you have made you first brick - that's great. As someone who has been around a while, I am going to ask you to think about turning your brick story into a Talkabout - we call them TA's for short.
A TA will mean that you will get more feedback from others and beleive me - your story has many similarities with others here on the Wall. I guess I am reacting to your name of misfit - here you won't be a misfit - you'll be a "finefit" or a "fitrightin"
It's hard enough looking after kids and trying to give them the best without losing yourself in the process. And hard when wer don't have anyone to talk to. If you just want to talk here I'll be back - but think about the TA please.
What is something that you really miss from your life before children that you would like to do again - have you thought about this?
UM xx
29/07/2008 @ 12:04 Swon said

Hi misfit and welcome to BWW.
You've certainly not had an easy life and it's all credit to you that you have managed to bring up your kids successfully - well done.
But now it's time for you and I do understand how you might be feeling if you cannot be with someone you really care for all the time. However, if this guy is everything you think he is then it may be that your relationship can grow to something more than just friends.
In the meantime, now that you have found BWW, you suddenly have friends around the world so come on anytime, start a TA and have a good old rant, there's always someone about.
Take care,
Swon
29/07/2008 @ 12:31 misfit said

Thank you , means heaps to have someone to talk to. :-)

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