Comments

• 14/09/2008 @ 10:15 Wolfie said

  

  This is great - it is a wonderful thought for the day - must add it to the TA. And make sure I read it when I wake up every morning! Wx

• 14/09/2008 @ 11:43 summer76 said

  

  Lovely Brick Sunshine. However I keep hearing of late that I can choose how I feel. I am afraid this one is lost on me. Some lessons would not go amiss

  summerx

• 14/09/2008 @ 12:45 sunshine said

  

  hi summer -
  i think i know what you mean… as a concept i find the idea of choosing how i feel strange too. this morning i was very sad and worried, and felt a really strong desire to express that, and i think that in accepting it was ok to be sad i realised that everything is actually as good as it needs to be!
  this doesn’t happen all the time, but i like knowing that sometimes when i'm sad i can remember its ok to feel that way, and instead of holding it in and feeling bad about it, just let it go.
  love sunshine x

• 14/09/2008 @ 18:51 summer76 said

  

  Thanks sunshine,
  (almost complimentary namesake!)
  This has touched such a spark in me. As ever the concepts that are expressed so simply really are the most profound. Your take on how you can sometimes handle being sad sounds vaguely 'Buddhist' and emotionally healthy. I am really pleased it can help sunshine.

  As I said I have heard this so often recently and it has really got me wondering. Do we have any choice in how we actually feel - as opposed to how we think about or deal with those feelings. With the latter there can be a choice. Raising it like you have has made me realise that I think I have known some people who have chosen their feelings. I would like to know how. You have inspired me perhaps to start a TA on this.

  Hope you are feeling less sad. Take care

  summer x

• 15/09/2008 @ 21:31 harmony said

  

  As difficult as it sounds to choose our feelings,I think we can. I think we can gain control of our thoughts and can change our feelings. I believe that we are often not conscious of the thoughts that precede the feelings, and that if we can become more aware of our thinking, we can have a positive effect on our feelings.

  A realy really simple example that someone once told me:

  You are are one side of the road and see a friend on they other. Friend seems to be seeing you wave but does not respond.
  1.You think you must have upset friend somehow and they are ignoring you and you start feeling rejected and hurt(directly caused by your thoughts)
  2. you think friend must have forgotton to put specs on and can't see you - and you feelings towrads your friend remain positive (caused directly by your thoughts)

  I once worked with a psychologist on how to change automatic negative feelings and it was hard work and it was a long and arduous task to give up my automatic negative feelings and think myself into a positive mode - but I swear it is possible.

  I don't always do it, don't always remember I can do it, don't always feel up to it, but I have proved to myself many many times that I can alter my feelings by altering my thinking from negative to positive.

  I also learnt how to cahnge feelings as part of a meditation course I went on and was quite amazed at how I could think myself into a happy state by focusing on positive self talk. I really need to do it much more often than I do - I know that positive self talk can produce a happy state of mind for me.

  I think the first step is to notice what you say to yourself and when you find yourself talking negatively about yourself in some way (eg, about performance/ relationships/ past events etc etc)find a way to make yourself stop (Say it/ imagine a big sign ....whatever will work for you).
  Then change the negative statement to a positive statement and say it to yourself. The more often you practice it the more automatic the positive thinking will become - but it really is hard work. It's something that can be altered gradually.

• 16/09/2008 @ 20:48 roze said

  

  oh sunshine - you are so wise - it has taken me years to accept - no feel - that it is ok to feel what i am feeling on that day - even when it hurts or is uncomfortable. Our feelings are whispering for acknowledgment the whole time - just not to be ignored - to be stayed with - as they are lonely without us -and we are lost without them. love roze